Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
