So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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