ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
