The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
