my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize