Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
