my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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