so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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