Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
