I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
