i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize