What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
