Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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