I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
