# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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