Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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