Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
