I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
