Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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