too bad you live with your parents still
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
