Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
