ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
