Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
