we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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