i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
