Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
