my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my being single is dangerous.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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