some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
