we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize