what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
