Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
