Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
