If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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