Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Help. Why am I so naked?
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