No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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