Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
