Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
