Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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