alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
