Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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