I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
