My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
