I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
