u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize