I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
