i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
