your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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