I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
did i just pee glitter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
