just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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