I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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