Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
