The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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