Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
