One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
