I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
