a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's the barista slut.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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