i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
