I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize