dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
